. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Daily Danet Broken News Ticker  Quote of the Moment: "I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." -Ronald Reagan  Click Here for More Broken News  Smothered Chicken, Cajun Style: Super Bowl XLIV ratings higher than last episode of M*A*S*H.  Chris "Leg Tingle" Matthews: Charisma is a bad thing when white women have it (video).  Whine House: Stop criticizing us! It hurts our feelings. Oh! And it helps al Qaeda, yeah, that's the ticket.  Miss Me Yet billboard appears in MN. NPR strains to say it may be pro-Obama.  Putting the No in NOAA: Blizzard forces govt to postpone announcement of new Global Warming™ propaganda.  FoxNews's 3 am show Red Eye beats CNN in Prime Time.  Talk to the Hand: Liberals upset over Palin using her hands instead of a telepromter and 300 Yale grads.  NBC/WSJ Poll: Public pans ObamaCare 46-31.  Stolen Valor: Dem wore uniform of a general with more medals than Patton.  Obama the scold: Guess who knows everything.  Click Here for More Broken News  Quote of the Moment: "When the British shoot, the Germans duck, when the Germans shoot, the British duck, when the Americans shoot, everybody ducks." WW II proverb  Daily Danet is not suitable for bear attack.  . . . . . . . .

Broken News

Tuesday, February 9th

Smothered Chicken, Cajun Style: Super Bowl XLIV ratings higher than last episode of M*A*S*H.
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Chris "Leg Tingle" Matthews: Charisma is a bad thing when white women have it (video).
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Whine House: Stop criticizing us! It hurts our feelings.  Oh! And it helps al Qaeda, yeah, that's the ticket.
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Miss Me Yet billboard appears in MN. NPR strains to say it may be pro-Obama.
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Putting the No in NOAA: Blizzard forces govt to postpone announcement of new Global Warming™ propaganda.
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Monday, February 8th

FoxNews's 3 am show Red Eye beats CNN in Prime Time.
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Talk to the Hand: Liberals upset over Palin using her hands instead of a telepromter and 300 Yale grads.
Talk to the Hand: Liberals upset over Palin using her hands instead of a telepromter and 300 Yale grads.
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NBC/WSJ Poll: Public pans ObamaCare 46-31.
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Stolen Valor: Dem wore uniform of a general with more medals than Patton.
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Obama the scold: Guess who knows everything.
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AP claims undue influence by Toyota; neglects to mention the government owns their competitors.
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Hope·ocrisy: Now that GOP is involved, Obama wants cameras to record healthcare negotiations.
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Pro-Abortion Group: Tebow ad promotes violence against women; this is why we need Scott Cohen in the Senate!
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Over a year ago, RFK Jr. said Global Warming™ means no winter weather in D.C.  Retract or admit the hoax.
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Dem candidate withdraws from race 1 week after winning primary. Chris Brown vote now up for grabs.
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Saturday, February 6th

Captain Rehab: Scott Brown campaign is a joke because he votes with Republicans.
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Friday, February 5th

Obama: Navy now putting corpses on active duty (video).
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Fuzzy Math: 20,000 more people lose their jobs, but unemployment improves to 9.7%
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TMI and Way off Base: Michelle Obama says her kids were in danger of becoming obese.
- TMI and Way off Base: Michelle Obama says her kids were in danger of becoming obese.
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Thursday, February 4th

You Lie! Justice Clarence Thomas corrects Obama on his constitutional law.
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The last betrayal: Stevens, appointed by Ford, may step down to allow The One to pick his successor.
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You Lie! Obama claims a consensus of economists say 2M jobs saved or created.  Consensus? Where have we heard that before?
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Voting for ObamaCare: $2T. Attending Q&A with Obama: $100 (taxpayers). Voicing opposition to policies you voted for: Priceless.
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Obama keeps "unexpectedly" tanking the job market.
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Obama administration may be putting (GM's) profit before safety in Toyota recall.
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UK court demands man tear down addition to his home, purely out of spite.
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Wednesday, February 3rd

Obama unemployment reports off by 824,000 jobs. Maybe Obama used TurboTax and forget to check the box.
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Company linked to Obama official in charge of stimulus money received stimulus money. Ah, the sweet smell of transparency.
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iGasm Breeds Copycats

Wednesday, May 23, 2007
By Dan

British adult novelty store Ann Summers’s iGasm, which allows users to experience music on literally a different level, has spawned copycat devices.  Apple has threatened litigation over the unlicensed brand infringement, but that has not stopped computer lovers from further pushing the envelope in the personal pleasure pod market.

Among competing products are:

  • Winhos XXX: A customized version of the famous operating system.  In addition to taking your money, it also runs programs for other users without your permission.
  • Microsoft Orafice: Product description unavailable.
  • Microsoft Night Stimulator: A sex simulator modeled after Microsoft Flight Simulator.  The simulation begins at home, where the player will change outfits 15 times, walks to a taxi, then to a bar where several strikingly similar members of the opposite (or same sex) are congregating.  The player must then approach one such character, convince him or her to come back home with them.  The player then adjusts music and ambience.  Finally, just prior to undressing, the program causes a system protection fault and reboots the computer.  Cold showers are extra.

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