Bill to “Restore” Global Image of America
Democratic presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton is sending her husband abroad to restore America’s image. At first hearing of this, Mr. Clinton was very excited, but after learning the proper meaning of the phrase “sending him abroad,” he was disappointed, but still enthusiastic.
Mrs. Clinton’s advisers hope that by having the former president and aspiring First Lady Killer travel Europe, the Middle East, Asia and Africa, the world will develop a greater appreciation for American culture and society, especially corndogs, shady real estate dealings and sexual assault.
Mr. Clinton plans to restore America’s image through in-person meetings with world leaders, lectures and “generally spreading ‘good will.’” One dissastisfied intern report that, “although he does call it ‘Will,’ or more often ‘Willie,’ it’s not all that good.”
Mr. Clinton is scheduled to give several talks in Europe and Asia including “Ethics and Campaign Finance;” ”Marital Fidelity and Dealing with Multiple Sexual Assault Charges;” “Real Estate, Stock and Commodities Investments;” “Traveling on a Government Expense Account;” “Pardons and Cash Management;” “Office Filing and Organization;” and “How to Make the Murder of a Friend Look Like a Suicide.”
Bill Clinton to “restore” America’s image? We all saw what a great job he did during Monicagate, when his sleazy conduct made America the laughing stock of the world. But then, Hillary Clinton blames it on the vast Right-wing” conspiracy. The nerve of her!