Top Ten Quotes from Biden’s European Trip

Here are some quotes from Joe Biden’s trip to Europe. He was apparently followed around by a roaming band of crickets.

10.  “Ya know, as I wuz sayin’ to Sharkossy yesterday, France is a wonderful country. I’m so glad we saved your behind in the big one.  And hey, it takes a really smart country to elect such a short guy.” [Crickets]

9.  “Hey Queenie, thanks for having me here in Jolly Ole England. I love it here, I really do. I remember when my dad was a coal miner here.”

8.  “I wanna thank Prince Charles, and his lovely wife Princess Diana, she’s great, isn’t she?  Hasn’t changed a bit in twenty years.  Oh, God luv ya, what am I talkin’ about.”

7.  “Angela, by the way — she’s a real handsome woman, ain’t she? — Angela Merkel and I were just talking about how organized you folks are over here. I mean you need to show your papers to take a crap. I thought Hitler lost the war.” [Crickets].

6.  “Wow, I feel like an Armenian in a Turkish restaurant.” [Crickets].

5.  “And look at Turkey.  Here is the first mainstream Muslim nation that is articulate and advanced and a nice-looking place.  I mean, that’s a storybook, man.”

4.  “When you Germans invaded Czechoslovakia, Prime Minister Winston Churchill  went on TV and told people what was going on — that’s leadership.”

3.  “So I told Reagan, I sez, ‘Ronnie, if you keep doing what you’re doing in Afghanistan, in twenty years, we’re gonna have a problem with this bin Laden guy.’ And you know what he said, ‘Been who?’”

2.  “‘Sharkossy,’ I gotta tell ya, your wife is hot–I mean smokin’. Whoo-hoo.” This was met by polite, but awkward, applause from the audience at the French Women for Equality Rally. “Go ahead and stand up, show ‘em yer gams Carla–man if I was twenty years smarter…what a doll!”

1.   “Now president [looks at notes, mumbles] Yushchenko, I want you to know, Russian troops may come over that hill — heck they might be on their way right now — but Obama and I — we may make some mistakes, we might not seem like we know what we’re doing, but if your gird your loins, we’ll do some serious diplomacy before they have a chance to shoot you and your family in the public square.”

Tags: Afghanistan, fail, funny, Joe Biden, Satire, top ten

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 20th, 2009 at 5:53 pm and is filed under Fail, Global Politics, Politics, Today in History. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.