. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Daily Danet Broken News Ticker  Quote of the Moment: "The only thing in the middle of the road is yellow stripes and dead squirrels." - Unknown  Click Here for More Broken News  TPM whines about a potential govt shutdown: Think of the bureaucrats! Won't someone please think of the bureaucrats!  3 out of 4 candidates in MA governor's race promise to honor voter's will on taxes. The fourth is the sitting governor.  Australian MP and Reverend Fred Nile caught with pr0n, blames research in Australian Sex Party. Suuuure.  Rosey Romer: The stimulus failed. Our only hope is more spending and less taxes. At least she is half right.  Don't Mess with Texas: They now have deep-fried beer. Bud Heavy? MGD Fatso? Red Stroke?  Katie Couric: I can see the end of my career from my house.  Was Obama presidential last night, as he downplayed success and emphasized costs? He was presidential enough.  Ed Schultz says he could draw 300,000 people to the Mall just as easily as Beck. He can barely get that many people to watch his show from the comfort of their own homes.  Just in case you forgot, Professor Obama thought the surge would backfire.  Despite record majorities for his party in Congress, Obama whines about Republicans obstructing his socialist agenda.  Click Here for More Broken News  Quote of the Moment: "Government's first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives." - Ronald Reagan  Daily Danet is not suitable for bear attack.  . . . . . . . .

Broken News

Thursday, September 2nd

TPM whines about a potential govt shutdown: Think of the bureaucrats! Won't someone please think of the bureaucrats!
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3 out of 4 candidates in MA governor's race promise to honor voter's will on taxes. The fourth is the sitting governor.
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Australian MP and Reverend Fred Nile caught with pr0n, blames research in Australian Sex Party. Suuuure.
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Rosey Romer: The stimulus failed.  Our only hope is more spending and less taxes. At least she is half right.
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Wednesday, September 1st

Don't Mess with Texas: They now have deep-fried beer. Bud Heavy? MGD Fatso? Red Stroke?
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Katie Couric: I can see the end of my career from my house.
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Was Obama presidential last night, as he downplayed success and emphasized costs? He was presidential enough.
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Ed Schultz says he could draw 300,000 people to the Mall just as easily as Beck. He can barely get that many people to watch his show from the comfort of their own homes.
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Tuesday, August 31st

Just in case you forgot, Professor Obama thought the surge would backfire.
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Despite record majorities for his party in Congress, Obama whines about Republicans obstructing his socialist agenda.
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7 out of top 10 wealthiest in Congress are Democrats. Someone's faulty premise is showing.
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Lily white media calling the Tea Party pot white.
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Newsweek questions Obama's legitimacy. By accident.
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CBO: Iraq war cost less than stimulus.  Plus, it saved or created 31 million free Iraqis.
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Obama to Call Bush Before Iraq Speech; will lecture Bush on how his policies nearly cost us victory.
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Obama policies a certainly a change: Release terrorists and provide 'Reeducation' for citizens.
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Majority of our military are racist; anxious; cling to guns, religion and antipathy to those not like them.
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Monday, August 30th

Mormon bishop fatally shot in California. Why is the media not blaming gay rights activists?
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Sacred: pertaining to or connected with religion. Moron: See Bill Press.
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Obama: I can't spend all my time with my birth certificate plastered on my forehead. Where would I put the Bush Did It sign?
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Obama: Hey, you're never gonna believe who is really responsible for my mess.
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Matthews and Maddow call a blogger racist for his DC travel advice. Bonus: Blogger is a Dem donor. D'oh!
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Letting the Bed Bugs Bite: EPA's senseless ban of DDT now literally a pain in the ass.
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Obama: Who's got two thumbs and single handedly saved Iraq? THIS guy!
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Obama responds to questions on his faith with whine about birth certificate. Guess we know why he never released it.
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Obama to apologize to Iraq for invading; toppling dictatorship and imposing Democracy on those who would rather have oppression.
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Beck rally degenerates into riot as screams of "Play Loser!" go unheaded.
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More flip flops than Disney World: Charlie Crist was in favor of Charlie Crist before he was against him.
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Name Game

Tiger Woods allegedly met women online through an alias: Wellen Dowd

Monday, December 7, 2009
By Dan

Tiger Woods allegedly met women online through an alias: Wellen Dowd »

Additional Investigations Planned By Obama and Holder

Thursday, August 27, 2009
By Dan

As you know, Obama is investigating the CIA for literally blowing smoke in the faces of terrorists. This, apparently is too much for the tender sensibilities of our new president. The Daily Danet has uncovered an internal Department of Justice memorandum from Attorney General... »

How to Tell if Pelocchio is lying

Monday, May 18, 2009
By Dan
How to Tell if Pelocchio is lying

As Legal Insurrection notes, Pelosi’s prior comments (more of which, I assume will be rediscovered soon enough) paint a very different picture of her reaction in 2002.  But let’s take a mental trip with the Nanny from Franny and see what her world might... »

Good News! Racism is Dead!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008
By Dan

Daily Danet is proud to report that racism is now dead. The final blow was dealt this morning by Barney Frank (D-Fannie Mae).  The lifetime congressman from Massachusettstan claimed that Republican criticism of the utter lack of regulation for Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac... »

If McCain Spoke Like Obama

Saturday, June 7, 2008
By Dan

Many have rightfully criticized McCain’s June 3rd speech as stiff and awkward. In response, the McCain campaign has hired former Obama speech consultant Yuri Lee Sedthet. The results have been immediate and compelling: While visiting the destroyed Back To the Future set at Universal... »

Government to Ensure You Take My Money: Unrelated to Election Year

Thursday, February 28, 2008
By Dan

The IRS announced today that it would send letters to 130 million U.S. tax (presumably) payers to make sure these people take advantage of its free money giveaway. At a cost of now $.42 each, that’s almost $55,000,000 in additional government waste to encourage... »

California’ Pro-Minority Birth Rate Bill

Thursday, February 21, 2008
By Dan

June 16, 2013 California governor Nancy Pelosi signed the Minority Birthrate Equivalence legislation today. The bill, which requires all child-bearing couples to ensure that at least 50% of their offspring belong to “specified groups.” The law, which is retroactive to January, is designed to... »

Hillary To Criminalize Poverty

Monday, February 4, 2008
By Dan

October 10, 2011 The Clinton administration, in an effort to the “Health Insurance for All” program, is looking into the criminalization of poverty.  “Garnishment of wages is just not working, and we still have a significant number of uninsured in this country,” noted one... »

Bill Gates “Cures” Capitalism

Thursday, January 24, 2008
By Dan

January 24, 2008 Microsoft founder Bill Gates today announced a project to “fix” capitalism, so that it better servers poor and developing nations.  The project, tentatively titled the “Modified System for Distribution Of Services”, will be unveiled in 6 months.  “This project will bring... »

Sudanese: Prophet Not Snuggly Soft

Monday, December 3, 2007
By Dan

The Sudanese, calling in the name of the peaceful religion of Islam, for the death of a British school teacher who allowed her students to name the class teddy bear Mohammad, were further angered today by a pardon, issued by the President of Sudan. “Islam... »

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