Democrats Deny Charges, Pass Legislation
Democrats responded to allegations, made by Republican presidential hopeful Rudy Guiliani, that Democrats want an all-powerful, all-controlling “nanny state.”
“These are hurtful, mean things to say,” responded Senate Majority “leader” Harry Reid (D-Real Estate For Sale!). “Rudy should sit in the corner and think about what he’s done.” Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-People’s Republic of Californiastan) noted that “These types of hurtful comments are why we need the fairness doctrine so we can muzzle our political enemies.”
“Just because we want government housing, government mandated wages, government healthcare, government dietary restrictions and government laundromats, doesn’t mean we want a ‘nanny state,’” reasoned Democratic presidential hopeful Hillary “Care” Clinton (D-Your State HERE!). “This is another vast right-wing conspiracy against my moderate policies.”
House Democrats joined their colleagues in the Senate in passing the Senate-House Uniform Telecommunications Use Privileges Act. The Act requires all speech to be cleared with Congressionaly appointed Truth Officers prior to being broadcast, written or spoken in public. The legislation also requires Rudy Guiliani to wash his mouth out with soap and go to bed without any dinner.