FBI Releases Excerpts from Nigerian Christmas Bombers Email Inbox
The FBI has obtained excerpts from the email inbox of “suspected” Christmas bomber, Umar Farouk Abdul Mutallab. Mutallab’s email address, [email protected], was obtained through an international investigation conducted by the FBI, Nigerian police and Dutch authorities.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: An interesting busniess propasitun for yuo!
You ain’t gonna git me again, you basterds. Take me off this here mailing list or Im gonna report yer ass to Chuck Schumer fer violating the Patriot Act and whatnot. I’m on that don’t ask, don’t call list, so you better not keep emailing me. And while your at it, take me and my wife’s other email addresses off too: [email protected]; [email protected].
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: An interesting busniess propasitun for yuo!
Umar, dude, friendly fire! Don’t spam me with your “busiess prositun.” And get a spell chekcer, you write like Muqtab. And while you’re at it, you need a better email address. Only a moron would reply to [email protected]! By the way, how is the whole death to America thing going? I told dad about it, and he was not happy at all. Oh, and I don’t know what you are stuffing in your pants, but it isn’t fooling anyone. Khadijah and Joy were laughing their heads off at you.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: An interesting busniess propasitun for yuo!
Generally, my husband handles the finances, but given that he is somewhat indisposed of late, having a difficult time at the investment bank–and you seem in such dire need of help–perhaps I can help with your dilemma. I must say, your grammar…
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Congratulations–Your Visa Application is Approved!
Dear Death to America,
Congratulations! We have approved your unlimited entry visa application to the United States. Please confirm that your name appears correctly below, as it will appear this way in the visa, attached to your passport: “Death to America.”
We have based this spelling on your last correspondence with us, where you signed your application as: “Death to America.” Please notify us immediately of any name change or if this spelling is incorrect. If your name does not match the name on your passport, you will be denied entry to the United States.
Thank you, Death to America, and congratulations!
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Deductions of business expenses
Dear Death to America,
Congratulations on your Visa, and thank you for contacting the IRS about your inquiry. Generally, any business expense can be deductible for tax purposes, however, your expenses probably would not be a legitimate business expense. As you point out below (1) they were incurred in Yemen, prior to you entering the United States and (2) explosive devices used to “kill the infidel” are usually not a deductible expense. Once again, thanks for contacting us, and please let us know if we can help. As always, you should contact a tax professional before filing any tax returns. Your original question appears below.
——–
Dear infidel tax collector,
I am recently coming to America [ptoi] to kill the infidel. I have bomb strapped to waiste to blow up plane, (Northwest flight 253 from Amsterdam to Detroit on Christmas day–yay, me!). My question is this, I purchased these explosives in Yemen–well, they were given to me by associates–it’s not like I’m an isolated extremist–prior to obtaining my visa. Can I still deduct them against my U.S. infidel taxes? –Death to America.